Has the busyness of life made you feel weary? Is what you're going through undesirable or uncomfortable? Have you ever found it tough to trust God? We all have. The good news is there's hope. You and your family will be better on the other side of your trial. The Christian life is all about trusting God through the seasons he brings us through to make us more like him and to glorify himself. This is how he loves us, provides for us, heals us, saves us, and in essence shares life with us. He's the perfect Father or parent we all desire to be like. God's been so gracious to remind me lately that even though times are undesirable and uncomfortable, ultimately his purpose will be accomplished and I'll be better for it. During our busy season of remodeling our new home and surviving a chimney fire, God has been faithful to keep us safe and restore everything that was lost and more. But needless to say life has been busy, busy, busy. One morning as I began to go to God for wisdom on how to resolve a conflict between some precious kids in the children's ministry, the Lord began to direct my heart closer to home.For some reason the Holy Spirit wouldn't let me just easily dismiss this conflict that happened between several children and now was common knowledge to the parents involved. It wasn't a big deal I thought in one moment and in the next I desired to see my children and the children of Destiny respond better next time. So I guess it was a big deal. Would this conflict be resolved if I just dismissed it with assumptions that "kids will be kids" and thoughts that "they'll never be perfect?" Well it's easy to have those feelings and draw those conclusions when life gets busy and we don't have time to deal with things or we don't want to take the time to help our children resolve their conflicts. I know, I've lived that way. So in this case and in my own home the Holy Spirit began to direct my attention to care more about guiding my children through these teachable moments.
So right then I felt compelled to dig out a book Anna, my wife, has had for several years called "Don't Make Me Count to Three". I always thought this book was for women, but surprisingly it works great for men too. Maybe the picture of the mom with an apron leaning over to correct her child made me think otherwise. So I began to delve into this helpful book and as I expected so many of the authors points were biblical and things we already believed and did. However, it's amazing how the busyness of life can contribute to me quickly forgetting to put these principles into practice. Instead of taking time to stop what I'm doing and quietly, kindly and gently teach and instruct my children I find myself demanding obedience. It's good to be reminded that we can show our kids how to please God and us. To know that there's hope for an unruly child, any child, and even us for that matter. God has to teach us all how to go from darkness to light so we can glorify him and apprehend the good things he has in store for us. He's changing us all through his sanctifying process. The unpleasant fact though is that it's difficult, it doesn't happen without our participation, and it doesn't happen overnight.
The Holy Spirit wouldn't let me stop there though. I had the thought, "Why don't you just share all your parenting secrets with your children Laura, Audrey, and Timothy." So that's what I've been doing over the last couple of months. I gather my children in the mornings and I simply read to them "Don't Make Me Count To Three". On the first morning I made it clear, "Daddy's going to share all my parenting secrets with you". I think that got their attention. Of course I had to emphasize certain things to them through repetition, role playing, and reminders to sit up and listen, but they actually enjoyed it. It also helps us to include worship and prayer so they can experience the presence of God. In fact, they often remind me to continue reading this book to them from where we've last left off. Now I will say, Anna takes our children to the library regularly and reads to them almost daily so I'm sure that helps to keep them engaged. But the main thing that I've had to do is to make a new commitment to being the leader when it comes to teaching and instructing my children. It's not that I haven't wanted to be or didn't care, but life is busy. There are so many good things that compete for my attention. I can't leave it to mom, the church, the grandparents, the school, the government or anyone else. It's my divine calling right after my relationship with God and my wife. My children need to hear what God expects from them through me and their mother. If I can get them to understand God's ways and his world, then all of these relationships that they struggle with in our home and beyond will become peaceful.
So this is the journey that Anna and I have been on. Our lives are frenetic at times just like yours, but God's grace is making all the difference. Revisiting how we parent is a regular thing for us. We believe our children are our number one ministry and the primary example that we have to glorify God. We're not perfect, but we're being perfected by Him. There are many days when we can't wait for our heads to hit the pillow so we can get another chance to try it again. And God and so many of our friends are kind to encourage us onward. That's the Christian life for us.
Let me encourage you to hear the voice of God for you and your family. Maybe some of what I shared or simply reading this book "Don't Make Me Count to Three" will help you as you love and lead your children. Ginger Plowman, the author of this book, has a kind heart and gracious approach to her teaching. I think you'll like it. I especially enjoy all the real life stories from her family that help to apply all the biblical truth she shares. She comes across as a partner in the faith and not the expert, which I think is winsome. To order the book go to Don't Make Me Count To Three.
Finally, to all the parents and grandparents with children who are involved in Destiny Kids. I've seen some great growth in all of the children over the past couple years. It's been neat to see their Christian character grow. I've seen progress in their thoughts about God, talents, giving, sharing, kindness, peacemaking, worship, prayer, and more. It's been a pleasure ministering to them and receiving ministry from them. I'm certain most of this growth has happened in your care and I'm just thrilled to support what God has called you to do as their parents. Keep up the great work. The best is yet to come!
Your Friend,
Ted Thevaos
written by Ted Thevaos (Children's Pastor)
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